Its not a myth!

Some days stick to your memory as if you relive that day, that moment every day. It began with that frosty glare across the room. The tenacity and the meaning in those eyes was in explainable. In the frosty glare and the stiff upper lip, there was a world of mystery waiting to be discovered, a surge of emotions and silent words. I remember trying to steal many glances and hoping to draw some attention but the path seemed snowed in. The brief moment seemed an eternity. It had tales of fortitude, of unforeseen passion. It had pain and pleasure, mystery and clarity, aloof and near, it was painstakingly familiar and known.

The moment replayed in my mind. You seemed to be on it and the our brief interlude was glorious. I knew you felt it too.. you felt the mystery .. you felt the connection. People would wonder how so brief a look could have such results. I never expected this too. The moment etched in my mind and at some level freed it. The tainted glass seemed clearer and I felt re- born. It was an amazing feeling of familiarity amidst the masses, a connect one finds in another being who is part of this magnanimous life. It made no sense to me and also seemed very sensible. Oxymoronic to the core.

You rekindled a lot of things that night.. you made me believe again.. in moments, in people and above all in miracles. The journey ahead is much more exciting as my mind is ready to absorb more and ready to trust again.. Its not a myth anymore.. It’s a miracle of a moment and I owe it to you.

ICU

Staring mysteriously with an enchanted gaze
The droplets seemed like dew on the moorish patch
Currants in black shone through
The mysticism in the mauve was oozing

The lift was gentle and generous
The placing on the edge was perfect
I temptingly stretched my hand
Smilingly I bit into my "black currant" ice cream.

Passer-by

The letter lay crumpled in a heap of papers. The sobbing continued to soak her sleeves but never seized. The barriers were finally broken. The cries grew louder and the breathing became heavy. For any passer-by the heart would wrench at her cries. As the time ticked, the passer-bys moved on and the cries abated abruptly. She slowly rose and bent down to pick up the crumpled paper. Ironing out the letter she held it up to her chest and gaspingly uttered- “I will live.. I have so much more time.. the tests (she sniffed) the tests were negative….”. I walked on wondering that the deafening cries of happiness was overwhelming and scarier than sadness. Unexpected happiness and sudden plight of sadness evokes unforeseen emotions … She huddled by me and the passer-by’s moved on. Life has its ways I thought.

Irksome but true.....

As I sat staring into a blank word document with a desire to pour my mind. I continued staring blankly. There are days when words and ideas cram your head but little can be done to process the same on paper. It is one such day I presume.

Life I thought with a sigh and a pause. The constant irksome word evoking a thousand thoughts, a whirlwind of memories, an ocean of hope and a desert of wants. I smiled as I let go off my breath with the numerous thoughts. Why is it so difficult to talk about life? About experience and what is and what could have been? Why is it that words are never enough to describe people, moments, events or days? why is it so difficult to figure out what makes us happy and what is it that we want?

Does the surge ever end?
Does the quest ever cease?
Does the desire ever die?

Is it all about acceptance and adjustments or is it about living life on the edge and craving for the wee bit more? Is it the cyclical nature of bad and good days or is it the attempt to always feel that adrenaline rush? What is it that we all seek for ourselves or despite ourselves? “The journey is long and endless and in the end it is only with ourselves” (The sunscreen song) .

I seek without knowing, I travel without destination, I wonder without pausing. I constantly think. In the midst of the ageless mindless confusion, I attempt to live the irksome yet infectious thing called life. Do u?

The last flight

It was a sinister feeling as I walked the last flight. I never understood why I felt that way. A sudden shudder would also run through my spine as I remember always hastily turning around. I always wondered why it was only on the last flight that the eeriness crept in. The moment would pass the moment I reached the door. I remember puzzling over this for days. No matter how engrossed I was in my thoughts, how hurried I tried to rush the climb or how indifferent I tried to be the feeling remained.

It was unexplainable I thought to myself trying to analyse. The feeling was of disturbing familiarity, of an uncanny calmness and of known and unknown times. I ran through options of a doctor, therapist, a voodoo specialist in my mind but decided against any of them. It would only make me think more on the feeling. I decided to live with it. There are days I would pause on the last flight and feel pain, there were moments where I would dash the last step and feel hurt. It was a morose feeling, of anger, anguish and yes a lot of pain.

Its been many years now and the house has grown with me. The last flight remains. The feeling remains. Yet it has got surprisingly easy, it’s a part of my life now, a grown sense of familiarity and at some level fondness. It’s a feeling of comfort that maybe I am being watched over by a unknown someone. Maybe it will never make sense, maybe I will never know but the last flight is here to stay in me.

Stolen Glory

My feet still tremor each time I remember the moment etched in time. I can sense the adrenaline rushing to my head. The nausea and the euphoria engulfing me, as I make the last dash. The award ceremony and the glory of being a title holder seems a blur now. I clench and unclench the Olympic gold as I remember passing the drug test despite….


I startle with the sound as the bottle breaks spilling out the remains of the heroin

Whhatterson

“What is life all about?” asked me?
“Sheer bliss in nothingness” smirked snoopy
“I am destined for bigger things you know for intelligensia, discovering the undiscovered and braving to find unsolved solutions.” Me continued.
“ Don’t you think we all have a purpose in life? We are all here for doing something different and life is more than school and slides.”
Me jumped up and held up my hand. “Here I go I shall strive to achieve and I will begin by not going to school and work the whole of today on the effects of nuclear sciences on mankind. What say snoopy?”
Snoopy muttered in his sleep while me pounced on him awakening him rudely.
I suddenly felt the bed moving and felt that the gods had heard me and the nuclear war had commenced. “Run for your life” I muttered only to be woken rudely up by mom waving a calvin copy in my face. I could only wake up giggling at my Watterson stint.