Friday, July 2, 2010

Etched in time

It was a relationship of sorts. It had been a long journey and we have never been apart. So many memories, moments glorious moments caught in time or just mundane glimpses rushed through my mind.

I glanced clutching thy hand with all my might. You muttered under your breath asking me to lift you up. I shook my head as my eyes were stung with my efforts to keep the tears at bay. You forced yourself up and stared at my moist eyes. We both knew it was time to bid farewell. It had been a memorable journey, we had shared, cried, learnt, unlearnt, lived, laughed and embraced life. You had taught me that at times it had to be about me, it had to be about oneself – things which were inexplicable. You had taught me to listen and march forward, you had taught me to be brave and often let me walk alone. I misjudged you and called you names. Often, I followed suit of where the masses took me but you always were my shadow- lurking behind and coaxing me to take the less trodden path.

There have been times I have hated your guts, they way you would make me listen to you. They way I would never listen to others and just trust your instinct. You know that by following your word, I have been hurt, bruised and so often broken. Those moments were the worst when I promised myself to close you out of my life, never letting anyone hurt me and never being so vulnerable but you always crept back in. You always showed me the softer facet to a circumstance and helped me re-believe. With time you ensured that there was no hurt and I could trust again.

And there were conflicts between you and the others where I tried to listen elsewhere. Each time I would try, you would be hurt, it was hardly ever simultaneous. I tried to walk the middle path at times listening to both but it never worked and you eventually succeeded in having your way.
I do not want to let you go. I do not want to walk alone. I need your comfort and I need you to guide me. You breathe even worse and the beats are less frequent. I can feel you walk away as I have to turn and face life all alone. .. seconds pass and the heart stops beating.

… I lie open eyed now. The doctor says the operation was successful, the heart transplant happened. He smiled and encouraged me. I wiped the lurking tear in my eye as only I knew that I had bid farewell to my companion- my heart. I was another person now, I had a new heart beating in me. Will it show me the way as before? Will I be guided by my heart and will I be my emotional self or will this heart be too weak for my strong mind?
An undying relationship etched in time- my heart and me!

2 comments:

Dankest Cartoon said...

extremly moving.....wat a surprise ..nobody made any comment..on these wonderful..'world of mauve'

lavida said...

thanks.. Not many ppl actually read a blog u see!