Monday, December 22, 2008

The festive sniffle!

A sniffle in the cold
A whiff of the fresh brownie
A reason to shop
A season to give

A time when you are happy
A day when no secrets remain untold
A time of benevolence
A time of family and constant cheer

A day of forgiveness and blessings
A day to ensure that your mind’s at rest
A day to forget the past and brave forward
A day to enjoy the gift of the present

A time of bright colours and toys for all
A day of family and the blissful talk
A day of friendship and chatters
A day to love thy self

As the day approaches
I float over the festive times
And wish and hope that all year
Remains just so bright

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

The tide

Like the full moon’s tide
You took me on a ride
Time paused as I continued to glide

Maturity in childlike glee
Fantasies of times to be
Thrill of life I got to see

Aromatic tea by the road
Splendid wine in a red code
Or just sneaking bottles of coke

Soon the tide rose high
Parting us with a sigh
Self created problems we let lie

We failed to see the simplicity
The meaning and tenacity
Of what we enjoyed so easily

The tide failed to abate
And we drifted to this state
And here we are to this date

I wish we could see
That the tide was for us to abate
Its us who control our own fate

I pray and hope in the full moon’s light
That we can see the better sight
And control our tide and its height.

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

do u believe in magic

The beach road is long, winding and wide
The moon’s up tonight and with it the tide

Cars screech by, with evil glaring eyes
Down below the asphalt, the soul of the road cries

The beach is silent just like the night
Not a soul around save the devil in sight

The rumbling of the sea, and the swoosh of the trees
Makes me cherish moments as precious as these

Moments like these quite magical and rare
In solitude and with you I’d love to share

As I see the calmness of the sea’s sheen
I look for the same within

Nature in its sparkling splendor
Makes me stare in amazing wonder

The sea, the sand and the serenity
Shows the unique trinity

This magical moment seemed just for me
And I knew in my heart that it is meant to be

Monday, December 8, 2008

Of Days

There are days when I just sigh and wonder
About life, days and living
The steering of providence or the gears of our actions.
The acceleration of our thoughts or the brake of people’s reactions.
The unending winding roads or the seamless horizon
The creeping exhaustion or the unending exuberance

There are days when I am filled with cheer
About moments, people and occasions
The thrill of the living bliss or maybe just the fleeting kiss
The newness in the mundane or just smiling insane
The smooth sailing daily or the aroma of the freshly baked
The brightness of the skies or the sparkling sunset

Then there are days and days
About anxiety, anguish and puzzles
The days of despair and constant disgust or the sheer monotony of the mundane
The constant change in people or ever changing gravity
The flux outside and within or the deafening calmness around

There are always days, hours and moments
There is always a race with yourself, against time and in your mind
There is and there should always be the mystery of living
Being alive, feeling the glory and experiencing life
There will always be days but then again there will always be another day

Saturday, December 6, 2008

my eternity

Shall we ever know what is in store for us?
Like the past which each one of us were part of
Shall we ever be sure to achieve what we plan?
With nothing to surprise, confuse or hurt us
Will hard- work ever overcome fate?
Will love ever overcome hate?
Can the choice of fate to us be given?
Can we stop from being always driven?
When can the fury within me end?
When will we stop seeking amends?
Are these thoughts on all your minds?
Do you too search with no destination?
Waiting and seeking that only tribulation.
Await I shall for answers from thee
Till I find my own eternity.

misty mauve

Cold dreary winters in the moors
Mist and hail glisten the grassland
Moorish patches in their silvery splendor
The creeping sun behind the creek
The serene silence amidst the rustling winds
The glow of early rays
The sweet scent of wild flowers
In a vibrant purple haze
The mist sets the moors ablaze
I watch mesmerized in childlike glee
I close my eyes to savour thee
My misty mauve scene for eternity.

dance away

All I want to do is dance away
Sway and stay
All I want to do is spread my wings
Feel the air, feel the wind
Let the music play around
As I float with the sound
Fly away, far away
As the tunes pass my veins
All I want to do is dance away
Sway again
Makes my spirit high
As I gleefully tap my heels
Jive around
I never feel all alone
As I move with the beat
And my heart flies away
All I want to do is dance away
Sway and stay
Dance and sway
Dance away

build me ..

Build me up build me up
A road beyond perdition
Across the horizon
Braving the smoldering sun

Build me build me up
A bridge to eternity
Where I dance the walk
And feel the wind

Build me build me up
My journey
Make it memorable
Make it unreal

Build me..oh architect
This ethereal experience
Color it with your vision
Infuse life and if you can…infuse me!

For my grandmom- miss ya

Years of wisdom
Sparkle through
The trials, the triumphs
In your life
Glisten in your distant eyes

It was all yellow

Shining bright yellows
Braving the smoldering sun
Swaying in glory

Sunlight sparkling on
Engulfing the field warmly
Golden paradise

Maze in paradise
Millions of sunflowers snuggled close
Smiling at the sun

Friday, September 5, 2008


I loved my life. It was so full of experiences and thoughts. I have seen my little girl through it all.
A brave girl, my Disha is. She is true to her name. Disha means direction and she has always walked on bravely in the direction she considers fair and correct. A beautiful childhood filled with her parents love. One day it all disappeared, a tragic end to the home. Her parents passed away while driving back home on her birthday. Life passed by in a split second. I remember having held her close when she got the news. She was so small and yet so brave. Uncle’s home was never the same. They were kind to her but it was not out of love, it was out of pity. She grew up silently. Time heals and Disha found her Disha.
After finishing college, she took to social service. She gave “disha” to the directionless. I know how her heart filled up with joy when she found a home for an orphan. That girl gave, she gave much more than anyone could have.
I still remember when she told me about meeting this fellow counselor, Dhruv. He was a dream come true, they shared the same passions for serving others. I was scared for her too. But all my fears were washed away when I heard the carefree laughter and getting something from life rather than giving. It was a quiet ceremony and true marital bliss followed. They opened their own social centre which housed an orphanage, an old age home and provided counseling services. She rarely met me but I always watched from a distance. Soon, the twins came into the world, sparkling and bright eyed as their parents. Deep and Dipti were so playful and fun. It was really “THE(D)” family.
They had found a hole in Dhruv’s heart which only was getting bigger. The only recourse was a heart transplant and donors were few and far between. I let her cry and howl while she held me close for comfort. It was a slow death. Dhruv got sicker and sullen. The children grew silent and the happy chatters ceased. Dhruv passed away quietly and Disha braved on.
Today as I lie next to her. I can feel the pain, the years she has faced and the troubles she has overcome. I have felt her tears, her laughter, her cries, her silence, her tiredness, her hard work, her desire to fight. I have seen it all and lived it with her. I have in me the Disha who no one knew. In my pages are her life, in my lines are her smiles, in my words are her years. It was her desire to be buried and as the coffin closes, I let out a sigh. I wish someday Deep or Dipti find me and read the memoirs of Disha and find their Disha. Till, then I lie in forgotten, the ageless journal of Disha.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Chocolate Factory

I still remember the familiar whiff. I loved waking up to that and feeling so blissfully content at the aromatic essence engulfing our home. I would peep into the elaborate bakery and glance at the milk being stirred, the chocolate being blended and the sugar being grinded. It would all seem so magical to me. My mother was always the busy one. She would be bossing around and telling the young chefs and other helps to get moving. It would soon be opening time. “The Chocolate Factory” as was commonly known in the village was famous, one of its kind. Everyone knew the chocolates made here were sinful and yet heavenly. It was a must for every occasion, every party and even for regular eats.
The Chocolate Factory boasted of innumerable flavors, of white chocolate, coffee blended, black currant, orange essence, mint chocolate and liquor chocolates. I loved the pretty packages in which we sold the assorted boxes for every occasion whether it was birthdays, anniversaries, marriage or Valentine’s Day. I loved my fantasy kingdom and always felt like Charlie in the Chocolate Factory.
Linda who was the cashier was particularly fond of me, she would always slip me a chocolate and grin at me. It was an unspoken secret not to tell mother that I was already indulging in chocolates at the beginning of the day. My favorite bit was to run into the kitchen and grab the ladle which was stirring the.. oh so heavenly chocolate. I would love to lick the ladle and that was the best ever. I remember boasting to my friends that no chocolate could match the taste and flavor of the remaining chocolate sticking to the ladle. Of course, I was the envy of my class. I was “Charlie”. I lived in the Chocolate Factory in the tiny village of Versaille.
The Chocolate Factory had its own heritage. I remember my father telling me the story of how great grand father had started a small chocolate shop selling only chocolate bars and how he was this magician who could create the best chocolates. The ingredients were unknown to anyone and only our family possessed the secret to the unknown. From a small shop it was know a brand in itself, we were known for our range of chocolates, chocolate bread, chocolate sticks, chocolate paste, chocolate powder… it was so “chocolaty” and so utterly heavenly.
I knew that I was to grow up and run the Chocolate Factory. I would love to help out mom running small errands of turning the mixture, cutting small stars for the packages. It was an adventure everyday for me.
The best part was Christmas when we decorated our factory. We had our own specialty of a chocolate tree, we would spend ages making the perfect chocolate tree even the decorations were colored chocolate and the star on the tree would be sparkling and very irresistible. All our friends and families would gather around the tree and we would sing carols together and enjoy the Christmas Eve dinner.
I always dreamt of making the Chocolate factory even bigger, I would have a chocolate kingdom where we would be the connoisseurs, the adventurous and the chocolate people. I thought of sending our chocolates all over the world and everyone would speak of us and our recipe. We would be on television, the radio and travel books would speak of one of the must visits before you die and of course we would be very rich and famous. I would travel around the world and give talks of the importance of chocolate. How it would always be this miracle, it could fix things, join broken hearts, create a miracle when none existed- it was an aura and a discovery which I would share.
Suddenly, I was being shaken by Andy. I looked up to see him grinning at me. He smiled and said ‘day dreaming again’. I smiled back at him. I was really day dreaming of an era gone by and a decade ago. We had all moved on. I was now in New York. I was a lawyer, a wife and I rarely had the time to pause and think. I was rushing through life and each day was passing. It was rare that I dreamt of the Chocolate Factory. I must go back I felt. I belong there and I need to go back. I remember the row which followed, the endless arguments, the countless fights. But I was determined, determined to go back and reclaim what was rightfully mine. I wanted to rebuild my empire. I wanted to be Charlie again.
Today is the big day. I open the door and place the welcome sign on it. I re arrange the chocolates carefully on the counter. I glance up and give an imaginary hug to mom and dad. I looked out to see whether anyone was there. I had left a lot of things to pursue my dreams, my heart. I knew Andy would understand and someday it would all be fine. For now, I was in my Chocolate Factory and after years and years I felt at peace. The bell tinkered and a small child walked in. She reminded me of me as she handed the coins to me and pointed at the chocolate box. I smiled in my heart. It was true. Finally, I had re built my empire but I had a long way to go- me and my chocolate factory.

Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Irksome questions

This is my list of questions which irk me for which I have no answers. There is no right or wrong way but its a great puzzle and I would love people to think about it- get irked, get puzzled, get bugged and surely wonder!!

So here goes- in no particular order!

1. Does planning in life help?
2. How important is luck/fate?
3. Why do we have days when we are so low?
4. Is chocolate and junk food a solace to troubled souls?
5. Do we ever practice what we preach?
6. How is it that the other side of the grass is always greener?
7. "Sex and the City', 'Friends'- feel good factors?
8. Is food a perpetual substitute?
9. The "Weight" issue (touche, touche)
10. Attempts at creativity?
11. How to survive the mundane?
12. Workplace- the days/nights of our lives- true/false?
13. The chick support group/the gang of gals- how imp?
14. Men... I mean do I need to add more??????
15. What's an ideal date/guy?
16. Are we all in the endless pursuit of happiness?
17. Where is the mind its own andwithout fear?
18. The elaborate and extended family- boon or bane?
19. Our to do list before we die?
20. The desire to do but never the time- is it applicable to each of us?
21. Are we all lazy or is it just me/
22. Learning to be satisfied/contentment- is it worth it?
23. Live your life courses?- Does it really help? (Get a life!)

The rhythmic Singapore flyer

One fine day, I was sitting and staring at the long winding and terribly confusing agreement and thinking on how I would ever get through drafting the agreement. I heaved a “Sigh” and looked up only to see the giant Singapore flyer moving rhythmically cyclically. The view is from my office on the 27th floor! The vagaries of having an office overlooking the expanse of the sea is that one goes on a self driven cruise more often than desired in one’s mind only to reinforce the “cage” of the four walls at work!
If you have managed to read my gibberish in the paragraph above, I would now like to talk about what I initially set out to write. To me….. the Giant Singapore Flyer doing the 30 minutes cyclical round signifies the life and times of Singapore and Singaporeans. Let me illustrate by citing the following examples-

- everyday as I board the shuttle to the MRT for work, the clock ticks and I look impatiently at the time.. 7:58 am, 7:59 am and as the clock strikes 8:00 am, a jolt, Mr. Lee (our shuttle driver) smiles patiently and slowly moves the bus. I see Mr. Lee everyday, smiling and wishing each one of us good morning, driving the 4 minute stretch, hearing the same music, driving in the same pace and going back.
- When I am rushing to walk from the bus stand to work, I see a very aged man picking up the dry leaves and twigs from around the bushes on the pavement. He mechanically and very carefully picks up each twig, examines it and with a sigh of contentment dumps it in his garbage bag.
- Entering office and trying to keep my cheerful spirit I bump into the lady who helps in cleaning the office. She is diligently scrubbing one corner and continues to do so till she can probably see her face on the side board.
- As I look around my office I see some of the people working from the wee hours in the morning until the very wee hours of the night or the next day working their way through complicated agreements and documents whilst never tiring with the same.
I pause and I think, I wonder and I actually marvel at the cyclical quality of the lives in Singapore. The deep diligence and devotion to the work they do. To do the same job with such satisfaction and contentment is something I admire. My restless soul is always looking at the future and is never content. I love trying new things and experiencing so much. I look around and I see such fulfillment in the eyes of the people. I admire that quality, I admire the diligence and the way they do their job. As I continue staring at the giant rhythmic flyer it seems to me that it symbolizes the lives of the people in Singapore, moving in its very own motion and staring majestically at the city, very akin to the people who go on with their work defining Singapore as a “fine city”. Suddenly, I rattle back to reality and my agreement and somewhere around the corner the man bends to pick up the dry leaf which just fell from the tree.

The picture of life

Painted colours, vibrant winds
Strokes of love ,with that heartfelt touch...
The pastel breathes
The picture blends
A shattering silence
Yet, the air strikes the music of life
The eternal bliss of starlit skies
The rustling leaves of oakwood trees..
The mindless glee that swept within
Soon,lightning and thunder creeps acrossthe winds howl by your side
But a strength I get by feel of you
An ease I know as i see you
And as nature calls and howls
I stand with you by my side
The canvass of life which speaks much more ..
Paints get washedthe colours speak no more.....
Portrait is soiled..
I look with not a tear in my eye
My beloved left without a sigh
And as nature covers her grave
The canvass falls
The canvass of my life brutally ends

life- how random can u get!!!!

As I sat and wondered about my favorite subject “Life” I momentarily paused at a thought. The thought being is how are we always craving to be on the other side, wondering if this were to happen how would it be and if my life were to be different in this aspect how would it be… I wonder about the other side of the grass! Would I be thinking the same if I were on that side. What is that ultimate level of contentment?

I ask myself is this feeling of dissatisfaction with all of us? Is it something which is necessary to drive us in our ambitions or lack of it? Is dissatisfaction not good as it limits our horizon displeasing us with our current surroundings? The big question is dissatisfaction a driver or a deterrent?
I look back at my life and see that I have always craved for that extra edge, craved for the wee bit more. Has it helped me where I am? I would think it has, the dissatisfaction pushes me to do more things and be adventurous however, it can also be a nasty devil and really make me dislike the present.
Where does one draw the line in one’s mind? I keep wondering “ Is the other side of the grass greener or just different”?!?

Peek a boo

Peek a boo plays
My soul
It leaps, hides and shudders
In constant flux
My imagination become my hiding place;
My experiences become each time of
the booo
The fear and excitement at the game
Are my constant companions
The hunt is my journey
And the seeker is always me…
Peek a boo plays my soul
Running through without a goal
In this game of hunt and seek
I love to loose myself amidst
And as I journey through I find
I have lost myself far behind

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The times

How times have changed
where I was to where I am
too much too soon
Sometimes I get tired of the race
the race against time and circumstances
people and so often against myself
The race is long and I am just beginning
exhaustion creeps in, boredom seeks in
one is tired beyond bounds
but the zest never dies
the zest to experiment
the zest to move on
the zest of feeling and being alive
Amidst all the changes and things in motion
I realise that in this world of change
and times...
Me and my ideals, my never ending desire to experience life in all its facets .. has not died
and hopefully never will.

Where the mind is your own

From dawn to dusk
and dusk to dawn
against the sparkling sunrise
I welcome another day in paradise

A day with bright and sunny skies
of luscious greens fluttering by
I open my mind to see
Oh! what a beautiful world it can be

I see the meadows in my mind
whilst staring across the traffic's end
I feel the gush of rain
while running through the puddle main
I glisten in the brightest beams
as I am blinded by the computer screen

I smile to myself in endless glee
I know I have conquered the fleeting mind
I crib no longer about troubled times
and welcome this day in my own paradise

Thursday, August 21, 2008

When it rains...

When it rains
It only pours
And my heart fails to soar
Each day we clutch and claw
But the sands of time blow only more
The more we dig
The more we see
What is not meant to be
People squander
Desires change
Destiny turns
And as I feel the pouring rain
I can’t help but wonder is it all in vain?

Incredible India

I close my eyes and visualize
The bustling crowd
Amidst the deafening noise
The familiar clutter and the constant chatter
Shrieking cries of vendors plying by
The tinkering bells at the holy shrine
Shrieking hoarse for the all mighty’s grace
The smell of gastronomy at every step
making one a glutton without any stress
The smoldering sun and the sweaty mess
The dust, the confusion adds only to the zest
But enter into a trance I do
I see, I feel and breathe again
I feel the warmth of the smoldering sun
I feel the closeness in the deafening sounds
I taste life in the roadside snack
I have found my knack
Winding my way in thy crazy mess
Where what you do is everyone’s business
I feel annoyed and jubilant
Its incredible and irritatingly familiar
I open my eyes and heave a sigh
I know I traveled to reach the dome
Yes – its true. I am finally home!!!

The soul mirror

Peaks and troughs galore,  engulfing the auburn sky, shades of life it bore, uneven lows and familiar highs. Ocean’s blue is no compar...